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On Love and After Hours: Exploring Medicine as a Site of Romance

Author: "Dr. House"


A friend of mine once showed me a relationship chart, which described, according to her, the relationships in Grey’s Anatomy. Knowing what I do about the medical field, I was expecting a show about caffeine-fuelled stress, 10,000-or-more-card Anki decks, and complaining, of course, about placements. 


I was, of course, completely wrong. Far from the isolated, paranoid, and terrified students: We had an almost unrealistic-seeming amount of relationships. 


Instead of going into detail, I’ll just show the chart, which looked something like this: 

Figure 1: The starting point for this study. Who on Earth is Alex Karev, and why is he connected to at least five different people? Why is there only one major character, Helen, that isn’t part of this web? Why has Owen Hunt divorced two different people? (Grey’s Anatomy Relationships, 2022). 
Figure 1: The starting point for this study. Who on Earth is Alex Karev, and why is he connected to at least five different people? Why is there only one major character, Helen, that isn’t part of this web? Why has Owen Hunt divorced two different people? (Grey’s Anatomy Relationships, 2022). 

Who are these people? How and why do they have so much time for this? Are the fumes of old people and anaesthesia some type of aphrodisiac? 


Today, on a lighter note than the usual subject matter on the MUSE, we’re going to talk about this. Not Grey’s Anatomy specifically, which, I’m realizing now, everyone seems to have seen except for me (I really do need to watch it at one point), but on the topic of love in hospitals, love related to hospitals. 


A brief note: I have never watched a medical drama. I have never watched a medical sitcom. However, I believe this gives me a unique perspective, as it forces me to rely on outside sources, thus making this study more empirical. 



The Truths


In a somewhat terrifying twist of fate: The amount of inter-doctor relationships is actually rather high: Dutta et al. found that over a quarter of doctors ended up marrying other doctors (2024). 


So, theoretically, a situation like Grey’s Anatomy may happen: The report failed to acknowledge if these were inter-hospital, or intra-hospital relationships. While it’s entirely possible to contact the researchers for this information, I am hoping to salvage at least a bit of my academic dignity and future standing in the field, so this did not happen. 


Sadly, this was all that a cursory review would reveal of the accuracy of medical relationships. 



The Myths



Myth 1: “Hospitals are romantic” and doctors are falling in love there!

The Truth: Not too much, compared with the average population.


Contrary to the “web of relationships” shown above, there doesn’t seem to be anything particularly romantic about a hospital setting. 


Doctors of a 2002 cohort had a 21.2% and 18.8% rate of living with a domestic partner (for women, and men respectively), compared to higher rates of 45.9% and 30.5% for the general population’s 2003 projection (Goldacre et al., 2012). 


However, a more recent study found an average age of marriage of 27.8 years old (n = 252*), which, while not commented on by the researchers, (Dutta et al., 2024), is nonetheless comparable to the US average of 30.8 years old (World Population Review, 2024), where the study was conducted. This could be a reflection of increasing average ages of marriage in particular, which has increased from 25.85 to 28.6 from 1998 to 2022 (Korhonen, 2024). 


However, what remains is in both the 2002 and 2024 data, they never overtook the average population. Good for physicians, but this does damage the credibility of the “romantic” hospital. 


*The incredibly STEM-specific compulsion to write “n = 252” instead of “252 respondents” is the type of reason, I’m sure, why 26.1% of people in this study ended up marrying other physicians (Dutta et al., 2024). 



Myth 2: Doctors divorce for interesting reasons. 

The Truth: It’s mostly (di)stress. 


Notably, when investigating the Dutta et al. (2024) report: It was found that, unlike many sitcoms, the stress from the job was the primary reason for “Distress” in intimate relationships (Figure 2). 

This horribly utilitarian, and frankly boring, reason for distress, is in stark contrast to Grey’s Anatomy and other sitcoms. 


In a cursory glance of academic media related to the subject, reasons for divorce on Grey’s Anatomy include the following itemized list: 


Furthermore, it seems that the divorce rate among physicians is also greatly exaggerated in television. Notably, the probability of being divorced stayed relatively low, at a humble and unadjusted 7.7% for physicians, compared to 17.2% for the general population (Ly et al., 2015).* 


*To stay as accurate as possible, divorce date post-2019 was neglected, as the pandemic’s effect on lowering divorce rates would act as a conflicting variable.

**The firefighter relationship seemed to get back together, so, tentatively: Firefighting could be a protective factor for salvaging relationships. There is a serious gap in literature about this topic, to say the least. 



Figure 2: Workplace stress was the primary of the physicians’ self-reported “Distressing Factors” in their intimate relationships (Dutta et al., 2024). I am incredibly pleased to report that malpractice has a very little effect on marriage: Meaning either the rates are very low, the physicians simply didn’t acknowledge their illegal behaviour, or the ones that did commit medical malpractice made sure to have a positive attitude about it. This final option, based on what I’ve heard about House MD, might also be a popular sitcom trope.
Figure 2: Workplace stress was the primary of the physicians’ self-reported “Distressing Factors” in their intimate relationships (Dutta et al., 2024). I am incredibly pleased to report that malpractice has a very little effect on marriage: Meaning either the rates are very low, the physicians simply didn’t acknowledge their illegal behaviour, or the ones that did commit medical malpractice made sure to have a positive attitude about it. This final option, based on what I’ve heard about House MD, might also be a popular sitcom trope.

Myth 3: Doctors fall in love with their patients.

The Truth: You could be fired for this.


Using the American Medical Association Code of Ethics: One of television’s most beloved tropes is also highly, highly, unethical. 

Not only are physicians not permitted to engage in romantic or sexual relationships with the patients themselves (Romantic or Sexual Relationships with Patients | AMA-Code, n.d.), but also with any third-party members who may be involved with the patient (Romantic or Sexual Relationships with Key Third Parties | AMA-Code, n.d.). 


While the American Medical Association cannot implement laws (Riddick, 2003) this does not mean that the doctor cannot face punishment from the state (Landess, 2019). Our neighbors to the South seem to have state-wide medical boards, similarly to the Canadian provincial boards (Collier, 2016), but are allowed “subjective freedom” in interpreting guidelines and misconduct (Landess, 2019). 


So, doctors may face a risk of being fired for these relationships: However, at least in the USA, there is room for interpretation. This is concerning for a variety of reasons, but those I will leave for a more serious review. 


  1. Concluding Statements


In this brief review: It can be safely established that hospital dramas are taking creative liberties with far more than medical accuracy.


Whether this includes the “romantics” of the hospital, the reasons for marital issues, or the ethicality of patient-doctor relationships: There is plenty to criticize about their portrayal of healthcare-based relationships. 


To celebrate Valentine’s Month this year (and the upcoming week): Make sure to take the time to appreciate all of the loves in your life, and take comfort that being around the McMaster Health Sciences Building won’t cause any whirlwind romances. 


After all: This is real life.*


*We hope. We really, really hope.




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